I’m a weirdo. I look at t-shirts when out and about in Thailand. My goal is to eventually take these t-shirt shots and put them in a book of some sort.Why? Because I’m old and I now have time to do whatever. I was five years old, on a family road trip in the Top mickey Mouse Vikings Minnesota shirt in other words I will buy this early 80s. My parents had decided to eat at a little truck stop diner, and I was pretty happy about that. I ordered my chocolate chip pancake and sat contentedly doodling on the paper “Monkey see, monkey do” placemat. The man in the next booth, seated with his back to us, shifted. I glanced up and saw that he had a riddle printed on the back of his t-shirt. Neat! Being a little kid, I was always on the lookout for new material. I carefully memorized it and filed it away in my impressionable little noggin, then chowed down on my pancake. The punchline made no sense to me, but whatever…it didn’t matter if I got it or not. I knew my audience would. Grownups got all the jokes. Later, in the uncomfortable beige throes of backseat monotony, I unstuck my thighs from the seat and stared out the window at some cows. The riddle came back to me in a flash. “I have a joke!” I announced excitedly.
Ok, suffice it to say there was no laughter and applause. There was more of that stereotypical days-gone-by reaction where your parents couldn’t reach you to discipline you appropriately and an angry arm flapped helplessly backwards through the Top mickey Mouse Vikings Minnesota shirt in other words I will buy this crack between the seats. There was yelling. There were demands to know where I’d heard such a thing. As hot, indignant tears filled my eyes, I felt utterly betrayed by the truck stop patron and his incomprehensible joke shirt that had caused me all this trouble. The fact that someone would print something on a t-shirt that was seemingly designed to get little kids in hot water with their parents was deeply offensive to me.
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